Dharma Rain - Dharma School Manual

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Kid-friendly Ceremonies

Rohatsu — Questioning the Abbot

This is the most serious ceremony for the kids. It is a variant on Shosan, a public ritual questioning of the abbot by students. The adults hold Shosan on the last night of Rohatsu, a week-long intensive meditation retreat in December that celebrates the Buddha’s enlightenment day. The dialogue between teacher/abbot and student in this context is modeled somewhat on the regular private meetings that occur between them, called Sanzen. Shosan, however, is public, and part of the value of the ceremony is that each participant gets to hear some of the deepest thoughts and questions of others in the sangha. Any question whatsoever can be asked, as long as it is fairly respectful to others. This can be a very emotional and powerful experience for people, and often proves to people that they are “not the only one.”

We use the adult zendo for the kids’ ceremony in mid December (the adults have to hold the dharma talk downstairs). The children have been primed by their teachers to think of a question, and they come in fairly quietly and sit down on the meditation cushions. Parents of small children generally attend, while middle and high school students work it out with their own parents as to whether the parents are invited. Generally the older youth are able to ask a more personal and sensitive question without their parents present.

After offering incense the abbot of the Zen Center stands in front of the altar, facing the room with the bowing mat (haishiki) turned sideways to signify an invitation to questions. One at a time (with a supporting hand if necessary), children may go up to the center of the room, face the abbot, and ask a question. It is not required, especially of the youngest kids. There may be lag times as long as a minute between questioners, but this allows some of the kids to watch, consider, and finally get up the initiative to go up and ask their question.

The abbot takes the ceremony and the questions completely seriously; she makes every bit as much of an effort to meaningfully meet and answer a five-year-old’s question about whether he will see his deceased cat again as she does to answer some adult’s question about an esoteric Buddhist teaching. Younger kids ask about things like God, death, family, love, and the way the universe works. Given a question like, “Is there life on other planets?” the abbot will reply, “I don’t know,” but try to offer something for the child’s search and encourage the questioning mind. Older kids ask about friendship, authenticity, conflicts with parental authority, and self-discovery. The abbot’s ability to meet and respond to the youth is based in a large part on her experience with children in general and on her personal and long-term relationship with many of the individuals participating in the ceremony. Questions that are asked during Shosan or kid’s Rohatsu are not brought up outside the ceremony unless the questioner does so him or herself.

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