Dharma Rain - Dharma School Manual
Kid-friendly Ceremonies
Rohatsu — Questioning the Abbot
This is the most serious ceremony for the kids. It is a variant on Shosan,
a public ritual questioning of the abbot by students. The adults hold Shosan
on the last night of Rohatsu, a week-long intensive meditation retreat in
December that celebrates the Buddha’s enlightenment day. The dialogue
between teacher/abbot and student in this context is modeled somewhat on
the regular private meetings that occur between them, called Sanzen. Shosan,
however, is public, and part of the value of the ceremony is that each participant
gets to hear some of the deepest thoughts and questions of others in the
sangha. Any question whatsoever can be asked, as long as it is fairly respectful
to others. This can be a very emotional and powerful experience for people,
and often proves to people that they are “not the only one.”

We use the adult zendo for the kids’ ceremony in mid December (the
adults have to hold the dharma talk downstairs). The children have been
primed by their teachers to think of a question, and they come in fairly
quietly and sit down on the meditation cushions. Parents of small children
generally attend, while middle and high school students work it out with
their own parents as to whether the parents are invited. Generally the
older youth are able to ask a more personal and sensitive question without
their
parents present.

After offering incense the abbot of the Zen Center stands in front of
the altar, facing the room with the bowing mat (haishiki) turned sideways
to
signify an invitation to questions. One at a time (with a supporting hand
if necessary), children may go up to the center of the room, face the abbot,
and ask a question. It is not required, especially of the youngest kids.
There may be lag times as long as a minute between questioners, but this
allows some of the kids to watch, consider, and finally get up the initiative
to go up and ask their question.

The abbot takes the ceremony and the questions completely seriously; she
makes every bit as much of an effort to meaningfully meet and answer a five-year-old’s
question about whether he will see his deceased cat again as she does to
answer some adult’s question about an esoteric Buddhist teaching.
Younger kids ask about things like God, death, family, love, and the way
the universe works. Given a question like, “Is there life on other
planets?” the abbot will reply, “I don’t know,” but
try to offer something for the child’s search and encourage the questioning
mind. Older kids ask about friendship, authenticity, conflicts with parental
authority, and self-discovery. The abbot’s ability to meet and respond
to the youth is based in a large part on her experience with children in
general and on her personal and long-term relationship with many of the
individuals participating in the ceremony. Questions that are asked during
Shosan or kid’s Rohatsu are not brought up outside the ceremony unless
the questioner does so him or herself.
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