Dharma Rain - Dharma School Manual
Kid-friendly Ceremonies
Nehan – Commemorating the Buddha’s Death
Nehan is the commemoration of the Buddha’s death and happens in
February. According to the legend, the Buddha taught until he was eighty
years old
and had countless students and admirers. They were very saddened when, at
last, even a remarkable spiritual leader like Shakyamuni grew old and sick
and lay dying. The animals were fond of the Buddha, too, and gathered around
during the his last days. Buddha’s disciples were afraid of what would
happen to them when their spiritual leader was gone, but the Buddha told
them not to be sad or afraid. They already had the teaching they needed,
he said, and when he was gone they could “be lamps unto themselves.” This
is a deeply significant aspect of Buddhism: this religion is a collection
of teachings, a method, and a community of practitioners. It does not depend
on the presence or survival of any one individual. No individual can actually
give the dharma to another; the truth has to be awakened within each and
every one of us, and continues across gaps.
The adult Nehan ceremony focuses on a moment when someone goes up to the
altar and blows out all the candles and turns off the altar lamp. A statue
of the dying Buddha, reclining on his side and surrounded by animals, has
been placed on the altar for this ceremony. This is called a Parinirvana
statue, indicating that it depicts the Buddha entering his final or complete
nirvana (cessation), which comes only with physical death. Behind the statue
is a small screen, and behind the screen is a single candle that remains
lit. At the end of the ceremony, another person goes up and relights the
altar from that single, hidden source.

A Parinirvana statue created by Gyokuko sensei. The base is covered with
animals that the little kids love to identify during the ceremony.
In the kids’ Nehan ceremony we focus on the natural sadness around,
and the importance of gently accepting, death and loss. The kids gather
in the small zendo in the Zen Center house where the Parinirvana statue
is sitting on a low altar. The priest explains the scene depicted by the
statue, asking for help from the kids who know the story and prompting the
younger ones to imagine how the Buddha’s friends felt. The kids especially
appreciate naming all the animals around the Buddha — on our statue,
created by Gyokuko sensei, there are herons and wolves and elephants and
all sorts of creatures. From the story the priest transitions into asking
whether any of the kids have lost a person or animal or plant to death,
or in some other way. Many of the kids have lost a pet or a grandparent,
and many tell of friends that they lost touch with because of a move.
Everyone then spreads out and draws or writes down the thing they have
lost, or perhaps — for the older kids — something they want to let
go of. In the meantime, a fire is started in the nearby fireplace. When
this is finished, everyone chants the Heart Sutra in Sino-Japanese along
with the mokugyo (wooden drum). This is repeated until all of drawings are
burned. The priest kneels by the fireplace and two high school students
with large candles kneel on either side of her. The priest then takes the
drawings one by one, starting each one slightly afire using one of the candles
before placing it carefully into the main fire. The reverent mood and the
fire itself keep the children fairly quiet until the ceremony is over.
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