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Kid-friendly Ceremonies

Nehan – Commemorating the Buddha’s Death

Nehan is the commemoration of the Buddha’s death and happens in February. According to the legend, the Buddha taught until he was eighty years old and had countless students and admirers. They were very saddened when, at last, even a remarkable spiritual leader like Shakyamuni grew old and sick and lay dying. The animals were fond of the Buddha, too, and gathered around during the his last days. Buddha’s disciples were afraid of what would happen to them when their spiritual leader was gone, but the Buddha told them not to be sad or afraid. They already had the teaching they needed, he said, and when he was gone they could “be lamps unto themselves.” This is a deeply significant aspect of Buddhism: this religion is a collection of teachings, a method, and a community of practitioners. It does not depend on the presence or survival of any one individual. No individual can actually give the dharma to another; the truth has to be awakened within each and every one of us, and continues across gaps.

The adult Nehan ceremony focuses on a moment when someone goes up to the altar and blows out all the candles and turns off the altar lamp. A statue of the dying Buddha, reclining on his side and surrounded by animals, has been placed on the altar for this ceremony. This is called a Parinirvana statue, indicating that it depicts the Buddha entering his final or complete nirvana (cessation), which comes only with physical death. Behind the statue is a small screen, and behind the screen is a single candle that remains lit. At the end of the ceremony, another person goes up and relights the altar from that single, hidden source.

A Parinirvana statue created by Gyokuko sensei. The base is covered with animals that the little kids love to identify during the ceremony.

In the kids’ Nehan ceremony we focus on the natural sadness around, and the importance of gently accepting, death and loss. The kids gather in the small zendo in the Zen Center house where the Parinirvana statue is sitting on a low altar. The priest explains the scene depicted by the statue, asking for help from the kids who know the story and prompting the younger ones to imagine how the Buddha’s friends felt. The kids especially appreciate naming all the animals around the Buddha — on our statue, created by Gyokuko sensei, there are herons and wolves and elephants and all sorts of creatures. From the story the priest transitions into asking whether any of the kids have lost a person or animal or plant to death, or in some other way. Many of the kids have lost a pet or a grandparent, and many tell of friends that they lost touch with because of a move.

Everyone then spreads out and draws or writes down the thing they have lost, or perhaps — for the older kids — something they want to let go of. In the meantime, a fire is started in the nearby fireplace. When this is finished, everyone chants the Heart Sutra in Sino-Japanese along with the mokugyo (wooden drum). This is repeated until all of drawings are burned. The priest kneels by the fireplace and two high school students with large candles kneel on either side of her. The priest then takes the drawings one by one, starting each one slightly afire using one of the candles before placing it carefully into the main fire. The reverent mood and the fire itself keep the children fairly quiet until the ceremony is over.

 

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