Dharma Rain - Dharma School Manual

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Description of Sunday Program

Grade School Boys’ Group

Boys in the grade school group are in first through fifth grade, and they have two male teachers. The group includes a wide range of ages, sizes and maturity levels, but in terms of energy and interest, this division of the kids by gender has been essential for the success of our dharma school program. In the past we lost most of the boys from the program by age 10 or 11; we now have a large and thriving boys’ group. It has helped to provide an environment that is all male and generally more physically active. In a mixed gender setting in the past, the grade school group had often spent a fair amount of time listening to stories, talking and sharing ideas verbally, and most of the boys tended to feel out of place. Many boys around this age don’t express themselves verbally as quickly or clearly as girls — or even want to — and when placed in a situation where this is required they will often act out or shut down in frustration or boredom. Importantly, however, our grade school boys’ group has focused not on finding ways to get the boys to do what they resist, but on using what they are naturally drawn to as a way to engage them. Recommended reading for anyone working with this age group are two books by Michael Gurian: The Wonder of Boys and A Fine Young Man.

The boys’ group has burned out a number of our volunteer teachers. In many ways the structure of Sunday school classes is inherently ill-fitting for grade school boys: they are crammed together in a small room, made to stay there and not wrestle or run around for an extended period, and asked to pay attention to challenging and sometimes boring material. At times we have longed for a gym in which to hold this class because physical proximity to each other often makes it impossible for the boys to resist poking and teasing and wrestling. To make things even more challenging, some of the boys enjoy the traditional classroom setting very much and get frustrated with the few kids who for the life of them cannot sit still or be quiet for more than a minute at a time. The teachers must keep discipline while offering enough substance to sustain the kids who are listening. The teachers who have lasted with this group (and enjoyed it) have had a vital mix of realistic expectations, a sincere appreciation for the boys, and a love of challenge.

The boys go to their classroom after songs, and begin their meditative ritual with vigorous chanting. They do repetitions of two short chants: an English translation of the Fudo-myo-o Dharani and the Sino-Japanese version of the Kojin Shingon Dharani. One boy beats the mokugyo (a Japanese rhythm instrument) in time with the chant. Afterwards, another boy is in charge of signaling the beginning and end of meditation with a bell. The boys typically face the wall and meditate for a few minutes, with the fundamental guidance being no touching anyone else or talking. Some of the boys take this time seriously and adopt the full formal meditation posture, while others put forth great effort just to sit there while looking around and letting out audible sighs. Part of the implicit lesson here is maintaining tolerance and equanimity when faced with the distraction of individuals who cannot or do not conform entirely to what the group is doing; as long as behavior is kept within reasonable boundaries and expectations, the group holds those who act out with a patient acceptance. Over time, boys that create disturbances often grow out of the disturbing behaviors, or else learn to soften them in response to the sense of belonging that is unconditionally extended to them.

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Boys group carefully paying attention to the words being written on their backs by the person behind them (words were assigned).

A basic lesson for the boys’ group is used as a theme for the day, but serves mostly as a thread to tie together a series of activities, games and simple projects. Teachers prepare material and have a direction in mind, but generally value flexibility over making sure particular goals are met. Very brief stories or mini-lectures are anchor points between more active and participatory periods, so the flavor and tempo changes quickly. A great source of ideas for activities is the book Drama in the Classroom by Erion. It is helpful in this context to incorporate mildly competitive games and activities; although the group needs to be monitored to see that everyone gets a chance to participate and no one is being disrespectful of others, a healthy competitiveness engages the boys and offers opportunities for them to prove themselves. Perhaps the most important aspect of the time the boys spend in the classroom is being around each other and in the presence of men who are taking time to focus on them. The teachers model important behaviors like kind speech while working and playing side by side with the boys.

At times the boys’ group leaves the classroom to take on bigger projects or go on a field trip. Teachers have observed that the boys’ energy becomes much more manageable in larger spaces, suggesting that getting out and about can be very important for them. As a group they have made bird houses, gone on a day hike, and once even got to “dismantle” an old electric organ.

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